Undisclosed Desire

Selina meets her daughter’s boyfriend for the first time; and something awakens in her.

Selina lit the candles because she didn’t know what else to do with her hands.

Jim was already seated, fork poised, television murmuring quietly in the next room. He’d put on his good shirt, the one that pulled at the buttons across his stomach, and was reading something on his phone with the faint seriousness of a man preparing to be polite.

Kara arrived at seven on the dot.

Her boyfriend, Matt, arrived beside her.

Tall. Calm.

The sort of handsome that announced itself immediately.

Dark hair cut neatly.

Sleeves rolled just enough to suggest forearms without showing off.

He shook Jim’s hand firmly, warmly, then turned to Selina.

“Selina,” he said. “It’s really nice to finally meet you.”

He said it like he meant it.

Something in his tone - a half-beat too slow, a half-note too low -

Or maybe it was how he said her name…

…made her look up properly. Their eyes met. He smiled.

It lasted a second too long.

But looking back, she was certain that’s where it started.

———

Dinner settled into something like normality. Kara talked about work. Jim asked Matt about his job, his commute, his plans. Selina served the food, sat, listened, nodded.

Matt watched her.

Not openly. Not crudely. But when she spoke, his attention sharpened.

When she laughed - lightly, out of habit - his mouth curved in response, as though he’d caused it.

As if he liked it.

“You’ve done something interesting with the herbs,” he said at one point, gesturing to the dish. “It’s… unexpected.”

Jim grunted approval. Kara smiled proudly,

“Matt’s a great cook!” She said, enthusiastically. But Selina was somewhere else.

She felt the word repeat, somersault and then land somewhere low and intimate.

Unexpected.

She glanced at him. He met her gaze, steady, unembarrassed. His eyes flicked briefly - just briefly - to her mouth.

No one else noticed.

She felt suddenly aware of her body. Of the way her dress fell across her hips when she shifted in her chair. Of the faint ache in her lower back she’d come to associate with nothing happening.

Jim hadn’t touched her properly in years.

Not really.

When they did have sex - infrequent, functional - it felt like something he was completing, not something he was entering.

She’d learned how to finish herself quietly afterward, in the bathroom, with the tap running.

Matt asked her questions.

“What do you do when you’re not cooking for ungrateful family members?” he asked, smiling slightly. Kara frowned, ever so slightly.

Selina laughed, surprised. “I read. I swim sometimes. I used to paint.”

“Used to?”

“Life,” she said.

He nodded, as if he understood exactly what she meant. But he couldn’t have done. He was far too young. He was three years older than Kara, which made him…

Selina didn’t even want to think about it.

As if trying to shake herself out of a stupor, Selina announced dessert and raised herself from the table.

Matt rose too quickly, reaching for the serving dish at the same time Selina did. Their fingers missed each other by less than an inch. Close enough that she felt the heat of him. Close enough that the absence of touch felt intentional.

She imagined, suddenly, what it would feel like if they did touch. The thought arrived uninvited, fully formed. His hand at the small of her back. His mouth close to her ear. The way he’d probably speak softly when he wanted something.

Across the table, Kara was telling a story. Jim was chewing, nodding.

Matt’s gaze slid back to Selina.

“You have a very… calm presence,” he said. “It’s grounding.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Careful.”

“Why?”

“People might think you’re flirting.”

His smile deepened, just a fraction.

“I think,” he said, “people hear what they’re listening for.”

Heat bloomed under her skin.

The air seemed to thicken after that. To her.

Selina shifted in her chair. Matt didn’t move, but his attention followed her - not her face this time, but the small adjustment of her body, the subtle reclaiming of space. His gaze didn’t linger.

That was what made it dangerous.

He trusted it would be there when he returned to it.

She felt suddenly aware of her pulse. How close it sat to the surface. How easily someone could find it.

And take it.

———

As she worked to gather up the dishes and clear the table; the others transitioned into the living room.

Matt offered to help her wash up, but she declined hastily - aware of the dangers of being alone with this man.

So he grabbed the last bottle of wine, squeezed past her, back to the others - and it happened.

They were touching. Body to body.

Her with her back to him. Him leaning into her. For a second. For a split second.

But in that second, she could feel it all.

His arousal. Hers. The lingering sensation of him hardening behind her.

And then -

He moved.

“Sorry,” he murmured, a glint in his eye.

“So am I,” she said, before she had processed why.

Their eyes met again, sharper now. Something unguarded shattered between them; the kind of something that doesn’t ask permission.

In the kitchen doorway, he leaned slightly closer than necessary, his voice pitched low. “Thank you for having me,” he said. “Tonight has been…quite something.”

Her throat tightened. Something about the way he stressed the syllables of the word having made her acutely aware that this was her daughter’s boyfriend. Young enough to be her son…

“It’s been a pleasure having you.” She managed to reply, in the most cordial tone she could muster.

It must have worked too. For the flicker of a second, lines or hurt were etched upon Matt’s face and then were gone, reshaped into the charming mask he used for the others.

And then he stepped back towards her. Leaned right in. Close enough that she could taste his breath. Close enough that she was worried he’d be able to feel her goosebumps, to hear her heart thudding…to smell how wet she was…

For a moment, just one, neither of them moved. Matt suspended in front of her, a second from kissing her.

The house held its breath.

The air seemed to have been sucked in.

Even Jim’s television seemed to pause.

Then Kara laughed from the other room, and the spell fractured.

Matt stepped back.

But not away.

And Selina knew - with unsettling certainty - that this was only the beginning of something neither of them would name.

Could name.

———

They were sat together on the sofa now.

With everyone else.

Her leg pressed against his. She imagined the sound he’d make if she leaned in and spoke directly into the space beneath his jaw.

She imagined his restraint breaking.

She imagined breaking his restraint.

She imagined nothing happening at all - which somehow felt even more dangerous.

The wine had nearly finished. And then it was coffee. The evening wound down.

At the door, Kara hugged her. Jim shook Matt’s hand again.

Matt lingered.

“Thank you for dinner,” he said. “I hope I get to know you better.”

He looked straight at her when he said it.

Selina held his gaze.

“I’m sure you will,” she replied.

He smiled. So did she.

The door closed.

The house fell quiet.

Selina stood in the hallway for a long moment, pulse still elevated, body humming with a possibility she hadn’t felt in years.

Nothing had happened.

Which somehow made it feel inevitable.

She went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of another glass of wine.

She imagined meeting Matt again;

imagined the others in a separate room.

Imagined her lips around his throat.

Her nails digging into his naked back.

His strong arms around her waist.

She imagined him taking off her knickers with his mouth…

“Selina!!” Jim called from the living room.

Selina smiled into the empty room.

And let the thought finish itself.